Enmity Against God

!±8± Enmity Against God

What leaders should do to avoid hurting church members?

James 3:13-17 (Amplified Bible) Who is there among you who is wise and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth his [good] works with the [unobtrusive] humility [which is the proper attribute] of true wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry, selfish ambition) in your hearts, do not pride yourselves on it and thus be in defiance of and false to the Truth.

This [superficial] wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (animal), even devilish (demoniacal). For wherever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition), there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil and vile practices.

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).

I get calls from church members quite often, sometimes they just want someone to pray with them, and sometimes in their voice I can tell they just need someone to encourage them in God's Word. But occasionally they call to tell me about someone in the church that hurt them, seldom is a physical hurt, most of the time it is a failure on the part of church leaders to encourage in their time of need.

Whenever I get that last type of call I wait on God to give me the right word for them, even while my ear is still on the phone listening to their dilemma, I am in prayer, asking God to use me as a conduit so that they may receive the message that He has for them. Sometimes by the works of the Holy Spirit wisdom abounds, sometimes no word at all is given to me and I know my task is that of a sounding board, or listening ear. Whatever the case, it is the Spirit of God which dictates my response.

Today we find members of the Body of Christ in constant conflict with one another, choir member against other choir members, prideful and controlling people whose would rather point at the splinter in your eye then pull the log from their own. Someone can't get alone with Miss Green "Because she is just too bossy" or "Deacon Jones thinks he's somebody's boss." All of these are common place even though Jesus said "All men will know you are my disciple if you love one another." Of course babes in Christ will make mistakes, but what about those that have been in Christ for years, those appointed to the office of deacon, elder or pastor? What do we do when these conflict point at a leader? More importantly, what should a leader do to avoid him or her being the origin of member's conflict?

There is nothing more unsettling then to have to apologize for another leader's carnal handling of a member. And most of the time it is with those members that are newest in their walk with Christ, those members that we should handle with the most care and love. Those members that are looking to find Christ in our behaviors, that we seem the least patience for.

I may be nearly impossible to be walk this walk with Christ and never have conflict with another member or some one not in the faith. However, as leaders we have to be more conscience in how we carry the banner of Christ in all parts of our life. If our attitudes and behaviors are chasing away God's flock, then we are antagonistic to the building of God's kingdom. We are as the bible says an enmity against God! We can't march under the blood stain banner of Christ on Sunday and forget about him the rest of the week. Sound ministering of church members must be a 24-7, 365 days a year walk.

Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

This is not a request but a requirement, so when I hear things like Deacon So-in-so did this, or Elder What-cha-ma-call-it always does that, I am often at lost for words, as I wait on the Spirit of God to lead me.
When a church leader is the origin of the complaint we must take this cry for help very seriously, we have at jeopardy the character of the leader, and the salvation of the member, neither of which should be fractured because of carnal thinking on the part of one or both or them. God has given leaders that they may guide those that are not quite mature in their spiritual walk with Christ. A leader is tasked with giving the Word of God in its purest form while still encouraging and being non-judgmental in the way he ministers to the flock.
When ministering to the flock, the main goal of the leader should not be the correction of an individual's problem, nor to point finger as to who's the blame, nor should the leader use his position to pass judgment, but instead wait on the Spirit of God to lead him in what he should say. With spiritual discernment of what is the deeper problem the individual is dealing with, and Spiritual knowledge of the scriptures, a leader must be able to provide the encouragement to grow beyond the members problems.

(Romans 15:14) And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.

It makes no difference how much a leader desires to give the member what the leader thinks what he or she needs in their time of despair, if these two ingredients (spiritual discernment, and spiritual knowledge of scripture) are not the foundation of Spiritual Advice (advice having its origin in the Holy Spirit of God) than it is just that leader's opinion.

When the leader is not spiritually led to the correct scripture, and have not properly discern the problem, and then the leader can be confounded as to what to say to a member. Even worst is when out of pride, (because that have not received a word from the Holy Spirit) that leader may give carnal advice, which has its origin in what they think in their head, and not what God has for them.

Moreover when the leader is not led by the Spirit of God, he will allow his knowledge of the individual or their situation skews sound judgment. And any advice given will not be grounded in Spirit and will be is carnal and evil, it makes no difference if the advice is given with good intentions or not.

(James 3:15) This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.

"I said what I said out of love is never the right answer when dealing with the fragile heart of a new member in need. We should never have to apologies for our actions or the way we speak to a member, because our actions and the way we speak to them must be godly, peaceable, loving, easily entreated (received) and full of mercy.

(James 3:17) But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

Too often I have seen members leave the church (my own family included) and some eventually their walk with Christ because they were hurt either emotionally, physically or spiritually by a leader in the Church. Some leaders justify members leaving by saying the God is weeding out the wheat from the tarries, but this is the propaganda of the devil and a reflection of the leader's irresponsible and prideful behavior.

(James 3:14) But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
If we are speaking harshly to our members we lack love, and are lying when we say we love them. If we spoke it with our mouths we thought it with our hearts, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh

(Matthew 12:34) O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

Impatience, being judgmental and prideful behaviors are sins which impression as many leaders in the Body of Christ, as murder, robbery and sexual perversion imprisons the general populace of any modern day correction facility. Leaders must always be alert to the seed that they allow to root in their heart, because every seed planted will always produce fruit of some kind (sometimes a peach, sometimes a cactus). The leader must constantly ask himself "Do I have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, humility, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22) This is especially true when dealing with difficult and new members. If the leader lacks any of these, then he must make corrections in his life immediately! Because the leader is accountable to not just his pastor or earthly leaders, but also to God for his salvation, and the perfecting of the saints in the Body of Christ.

Your brother in Christ
FireSpeaks

Enmity Against God

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Parenting - Raising Kids in Today's World

!±8± Parenting - Raising Kids in Today's World

Walt Mueller is the founder and President of the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding and has been working with young people and families for 31 years. As a result of his work with CPYU, Walt has become an internationally-recognized speaker and author on contemporary youth culture. He has written extensively on youth culture and family issues and is the author of many books.  

I had the privilege of spending many hours this past weekend with Walt Mueller. Two years ago my church booked Walt Mueller to come speak to our community. As a member of the Student and Family Ministry Committee, we work with middle school and high school students and their families. We recognize the need for parents to try and understand today's youth culture.    Listening to Walt's presentations this weekend made me realize just how different it is for kids growing up today. One of the differences he noted; for those of us who grew up in the 60's and 70's, there was a more universal standard of what was "right" and "wrong." Then media in the 80's became more "feeling" focused. Today the media leads us to believe everyone decides for themselves what is "right" and what is "wrong."  Kind of scary to think about.   Kids today are bombarded with marketing messages through various forms of media from the time they are infants. Our kids are not equipped to accurately interpret the messages they are receiving. We as parents need to take an active role in being informed of what our kids are watching on t.v., what they read, and listen to their music.    Another interesting point: Did you know that many other countries require "Media Literacy" as a course requirement in school. Other countries educate their children about the media. They give them tools and information to help them process and filter through maketing messages and the various forms of media today.   When kids are not given the knowledge or information to help them process the thousands of messages they receive daily, they easily buy into what they hear, see and read. Left on their own, kids will try to understand their world by themselves or with the help of their friends. Have you noticed that marketers are trying to get our children to grow up and be mature beyond their years? The media can be extremely powerful.

Here are Some Tips to Help You and Your Children Navigate Through Youth Culture Today

Educate yourself on today's Youth Culture. Go to the CPYU web-site above and look for resources.  Watch for Parenting Education presentations in your community. Our church partnered with our local school district to bring Walt Mueller in to speak. Our school district has a Parent Engagement Network that offers a variety of educational opportunities on parenting and children, several times a month. Does your community offer education/resources for parents? Become aware of what your kid's are watching on t.v. Sit down and watch it with them. Ask them questions. Do they believe what they see? Why do they enjoy that show? What do they think of the characters/actors? The behavior of those characters/actors? If there is something you see that is wrong or does not reflect the values you want to instill in your kids, talk about it. Be sure to point out the good as well as the bad (ie not just the bad.)  Engage in a conversation with them. If you do not approve of a show, the content or the language, explain why (if it is not obvious to them.) Ask your kids about what they are reading. This can be books and/or magazines. Pick it up and read some of it. If you have the time, read the whole thing. Talk about the book/magazine with them. They may be glad that you are interested and want to share with you. Reading what they read can help you understand their world and give you the opportunity to help them process it. Listen to their music. Especially to the words. One of the advantages of the internet, you can almost always find the lyrics to songs.  Again engage in conversation about it. Kids may not understand the meaning of a song. They just like the tune.

After this weekend, I have a new awareness of  youth culture with plenty more to learn. As a single parent, I know the above tips may sound overwhelming. Our lives are busy. My hope is that you will check out the CPYU website. Become more aware of the impact the media is having on your kids. Begin taking steps to understand youth culture today and helping your kids naviagate through their world. The world today is a much different place than it was when you grew up. Do you really want them to buy into what the media tells them to believe and value?

Parenting - Raising Kids in Today's World

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Single Parents - When Your Children Go on Vacation With Your Ex

!±8± Single Parents - When Your Children Go on Vacation With Your Ex

If you are a single parent with young children it can be difficult to send your children off on vacation with your ex-spouse. I remember how difficult it was the first time my children left for vacation with their dad. My children were particularly young at 2 and 4 years of age.

If you are like me, your dream of having a family probably included the adventure of taking family vacations. I looked forward to experiencing new places, taking road trips or flying with my children. I wanted to be there with my children to experience the adventure with them.

I understand how heart breaking it can be to feel deprived of getting to experience the vacation with your children. This is one more aspect of divorce that can be difficult to accept. You may not like it. You wish it were different. Yet what can you do?

The reality is that you and your former spouse will be taking the children on separate vacations. So, what can you do to make this experience pleasant for your children?

First, here are some ideas of what you can do for your children:

Comfort. Let the children take something along on the trip that brings them comfort. Young children can have problems with separation from a parent, especially if they will not be seeing them for a number of days. Suggestions; an object, blanket, special stuffed animal, a picture of the parent not going, or whatever may bring comfort to the child.

Notes/Cards/Pictures. If your children will be gone for several days, think about writing them a note or a card for them to open every day that they are away. Possibly include a picture or draw a picture if the child is too young to read.

Care Package. Prepare a package with a travel activity appropriate for the age of the child. This could be a sticker book, picture book, coloring book, game, cards, or magazine. You could include a special treat or snack that the child would enjoy. This could be combined with a note/card/picture mentioned above. Preparing a package for everyday the child is gone can give them something to look forward to each day.

You can number the packages and build upon the surprise from the day before. You could follow a theme.

Second, here are some things you need to do for your children:

Contact. Allow and/plan for the children to have contact with the other parent. If you are the parent taking the children on vacation, you could schedule a time/days for the children to speak with the other parent.

Be Supportive. Whether you are the parent taking the children on vacation or the parent staying behind, for the best interest of the children you need to be supportive. As much as it may hurt to send your children off on vacation without you, you need to appear supportive.

If the children sense that you are okay with them going on a trip without you, the more accepting they will be of the idea. If they sense that you do not want them to go, or that this is really difficult for you, the harder it will be for the children.

Likewise, if you are the parent taking the children on vacation, you need to be supportive of allowing the children to connect with the other parent while they are away. As the adult, you need to make the effort to call the other parent and let the children speak to them.

Be Encouraging. If you are not the parent taking the children on vacation, for the sake of the children you need to be encouraging and reassuring to your children. Reassure them that you love them and will miss them, yet you are excited for them. Encourage them to go and have a good time. Let them know it is okay to go and have fun.

I understand what I am suggesting may be hard. You may be thinking to yourself, but I don't want them to go. You may be concerned that the children will not have a good time, your ex-spouse will not take good care of them, or that they may have a really good time without you and that is hurtful.

Think of the Children. This is when you need to put your feelings aside and think about what is best for the children. Reality is that they will be going on vacations without you and you will be taking them on vacation without the other parent. What can you do to make the vacations with you and without you most enjoyable for the children? How do you want your ex-spouse to handle the vacations you take with the children?

As your children may be preparing to take vacation with your former spouse, I encourage you to put any anger or ill feelings you have towards your ex-spouse aside. Think of your children and what is best for them. How can you be supportive and help make this a positive experience for your children? Realize taking separate vacations without one of their parents is probably more difficult for the children than it is for you.

Single Parents - When Your Children Go on Vacation With Your Ex

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How To Sell Land

!±8± How To Sell Land

To sell land, as with any real estate, you sometimes have to choose between getting the highest price versus selling faster. The following tips can help you get a higher price AND a fast sale, but keep in mind that if speed is of the essence, lowering the price is the surest way to sell land more quickly. Fortunately a lower price doesn't always mean less money in the end. This is because you avoid the costs of continuing advertising and the costs of holding onto your land.

3 Things To Do When You Sell Land

1. Have The Land Ready To Sell

You know you should clean a house when selling it, but many think that land doesn't need preparation. Not true. Imagine a pile of brush, a rusty barbed wire fence, and a few puddles of mud. Now, it is true that some people can imagine what the property will look like cleaned up, but do you want to limit your market to buyers with good imaginations?

A better plan is to help buyers see the potential in a property by cleaning it up. Burn or remove piles of brush and leaves. Fill puddles with dirt and level them. Remove old fences that aren't useful. If there isn't a driveway, outline one, or at least designate an area for cars to park and rake it out. One days labor can easily help you sell your land faster and for more money. If you don't want to do it yourself, pay someone.

Most people want to know what they are getting. Unfortunately, they can't read a legal description and from that visualize the boundaries of the land. Mark the boundaries. Pay for a survey, or at least put a white post at each corner of the parcel. Spray paint costs two dollars, and you can use wood from your land for the posts. Just be sure you can clearly show buyers where those property lines are.

2. Offer Financing To Sell Land Faster

My first piece of real estate was a couple acres of land. Two weeks after I bought it, I sold it for 35% more than I paid for it. I was able to do this because I bought for cash, and offered easy terms when I sold it (0 down, 0 per month). The buyer thought the price was too high, and I agreed, explaining that this was why it had easy financing. She didn't have the cash in any case.

Offering easy terms is the simplest way to add value and raise the price when you sell land. A house sold this way can be easily damaged and worth less if you have to foreclose, but it is much safer to sell land this way. Also, in the above example, I received 11% interest, another nice benefit of selling this way.

3. Prepare For Buyer's Questions

Nobody likes uncertainty. The less there is, the more likely a buyer is to make a decision when looking at your land. Be prepared with answers. What is the zoning? How deep are they drilling wells in the area? Where is the nearest town, and store? Make a map to these. Have the phone numbers of companies that can drill a well, prepare a building site, cut trees, or whatever else may be needed. You can collect all this information by telephone.

Bring a friend out to look at your land before you try to sell it. Tell him to ask you every question he can think of about it. Prepare for those questions and others you think of. You can always sell land more easily if all the buyer's questions have ready answers.

How To Sell Land

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Four Stages in the Development of Osteonecrosis of the Knee

!±8± Four Stages in the Development of Osteonecrosis of the Knee

Osteonecrosis, a medical condition known as "death of the bone", occurs when bone segments suffer from a loss of or diminished blood supply causing bone fragments to literally waste away; unknown to many, the knee is the second most common joint to attain osteonecrosis, the hip being the first. This condition highly affects older women, above 60 years of age. A possible cause of osteonecrosis of the knee can be from aging or other internal factors and conditions, such as kidney transplants, or even obesity; regardless, osteonecrosis can evolve into severe osteoarthritis if not treated properly.

Four development stages diagnose the severity of osteonecrosis, and the treatments necessary for a full recovery; diagnosis can be made through X-rays or identified by existing symptoms. Depending on the stage of development, the severity of symptoms, and rate of decay, physicians will recommend different types of treatments suitable to each individual patient.

The first stage ofosteonecrosis possesses the strongest symptoms of increased or sudden joint pain, joint swelling, and heightened sensitivity triggered inside the kneecap. Generally, symptoms cause limited mobility. Symptoms, normally, span a length of 6 - 8 weeks before subsiding; due to this reason and the fact that identical symptoms are present for other conditions, the identity of osteonecrosis is often mistaken in the first stage. Diagnosis, at this point, is generally generated from detailed bone scans, and treatments rely solely on medications, external support, or physiotherapy instead of surgery. Pain relief and additional protection to the knee becomes the main focal point of treatments.

The second stage ofosteonecrosis follows in a few months, and is examinable by the flattened edges of the once rounded thighbones. MRI, CT scans or bone scans are the most appropriate methods of diagnosis. The effects of osteonecrosis become physically visible; however, surgery is not recommended still. Physicians normally will opt for medical treatments, external support and physiotherapy of increased intensity, in comparison to the first stages, to hold back the conditions of osteonecrosis and provide pain relief and protection. Patients may be required to wear a knee brace.

Most visible on X-ray scans is the third stage of osteonecrosis, occurring from 3 - 6 months after the second stage; at this point in time, the bone, itself, begins to decay away, and cartilage and joints loosen from other segments of the leg. The physical damage is apparent on X-rays, and patients should sense knee cap decay. The most recommended and effective treatment is probably surgical treatment; some may opt for surgical replacement depending on the severity of the case. Surgical treatment includes arthoscopic joint cleansing, and pressure or weight reduction.

In the last stage ofosteonecrosis, the severity of the joint decay will cause bones to collapse; destroyed cartilages, and decreased and severely loosened joints plague patients. The only medical treatment to ease the condition, at this point, is surgery. Partial or total knee surgical replacements are necessary for patients to regain mobility.

Osteonecrosis can be a hefty burden to carry, and the sooner positive diagnosis occurs, the easier it becomes to handle this medical condition. After elapsed time, not only do symptoms and conditions worsen, other conditions evolve through osteonecrosis.

Four Stages in the Development of Osteonecrosis of the Knee

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